Sadly this weekend, Jose Miguel (one of the new guys living with us) lost his mom. She died unexpectedly on Friday night. He went to see the family on Saturday and found out what had happened. He came back early Sunday morning to tell me and to ask if he could borrow some money to help cover funeral expenses.

Obviously he was pretty emotional. Moms are alway special, but in Latin culture that’s even more so. Mothers are held in special esteem here. Add to that, the fact that Jose Miguel’s father works in another province and only comes home on occasion (usually with months in between visits), and his relationship with his mother becomes even more important.

In the afternoon, we drove out to where Jose Miguel lives (in a town a couple of hours north of the city). Isabel and three of the guys went with us. I was glad to have Isabel with me. I’ve never been to a funeral here, and I was a bit nervous about doing something wrong. And it was just nice to have her there. I could tell that Jose Miguel really appreciated having the guys with him too.

As a side note, it was a beautiful drive. The area north of the city reminds me a lot of Saskatchewan. It’s flat and a lot more open than the area south of the city, where the boy’s home is. Rather than building right up against the highway like they do in some areas, in this area, houses and farms are built back off the main road…more like they are at home.

I was explaining this to Isabel, and I said that, for the most part, it felt like home. She asked me, “Except for?” My response? “Uh…palm trees and sugar cane.” Of which there were a lot at that moment. That made her laugh. So yea…not exactly Saskatchewan…

The family told Jose Miguel that the funeral would be at 5 PM. Unfortunately when we arrived at 3 PM, we discovered that they’d decided to change the time, and the funeral had been held in the morning. Jose Miguel was sad but he handled the news well enough. I’m not sure that funerals hold the same significance here as they do in North America. At any rate, we went to the cemetery and found his mom’s grave sight. We prayed together, and I could see it was emotional for some of the other guys as well. Not only because they’re friends of Jose Miguel, but also, I think, because it brings up memories of their own losses.

Something that was especially difficult for Jose Miguel was that his mom was asking for him before she died, and he wasn’t able to be there. As well, along with most of the guys living here, Jose Miguel has a difficult past. He’s made some bad choices. His mom wasn’t sure she could trust him when he said he was living with me and studying. She was convinced he’d gone back to the streets. So it was hard for him to realize that she’d died thinking that, and that she wouldn’t be able to see him graduate and know that his life was changing. I tried to encourage him by explaining that parents sometimes say things because they’re worried for us. I’m sure she saw the changes in him…she was just concerned for his future.

Later when we spoke to the family, they expressed the same sentiment. That they hadn’t been convinced either that he was telling them the truth about where he was living. So I was glad to meet them and assure them that Jose Miguel is, in fact, studying, and doing very well. They seemed relieved to know that.

I hadn’t realized how poor Jose Miguel’s family is, until we visited his house. It’s basically just square building with planks for walls and a thatched roof. I’m not even sure wether they had running water or electricity. When we arrived, some neighbours were cooking a meal for the family. They told us everyone was down by the river. So we went looking for them.

This was something that was interesting to me. The reason they were at the river (besides wanting to spend time together as a family), was to burn Jose Miguel’s mom’s bed…along with the mattress and her clothes. Isabel told me that’s common here (with Catholic families). I imagine it has spiritual significance to them, but I was wondering if maybe it didn’t originate for health reasons. If someone died from a contagious disease, it would make sense to get rid of everything they owned. At any rate, it was a bit strange at first, watching her bed and possessions burn. But for me it got more interesting the longer I thought about it.

I’m glad we were able to be there for Jose Miguel on Sunday. I’ve no doubt that he has some difficult days ahead of him. But knowing that he’s not alone, but that he’s a part of a community…of a family…that held significance for him. Please pray for Jose Miguel. In the past, I know his first instinct would have been to turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with this pain. It’s encouraging to see God working in him and to hear him acknowledge that it’s only through Christ that he’ll find healing. I’ve no doubt that Satan will attempt to use his pain and sorrow against him…that the drugs and alcohol will be a temptation. But I can see the desire of his heart is to be faithful and obedient….and that’s good to see.