Tomorrow I’ll have a post about “Christmas on the Streets” as well as some pictures. But until then, to keep everyone entertained, I thought I’d share the experience I had today.

Remember my dumb car alarm? Well…we’ve continued to wage our little Cold War. Mostly it’s been a stalemate, with no one really being able to come out victorious. Today however, car alarm came close. He didn’t win the war…but he definitely won the battle. Even though he’s the enemy, I’m man enough to admit that I was kind of impressed with his ingenuity and ability to pull off such a gutsy manoeuver…

I had my physiotherapy this afternoon at 4:30…just as rush hour traffic was starting. As well, they’re re-paving the first ring, so traffic was being rerouted and was even worse than normal. I needed to stop at the bank to get money to pay for my physio, and because of the traffic situation, I was already late. Also, because of the time of day, there were no places to park anywhere near the bank. I think this is what they mean when they talk about a perfect storm. So I did something I vowed I would never do here in Bolivia…

I double parked.

I’ve mentioned this before, but people double park here all the time. It drives me crazy. Especially downtown. It’s all one way streets, and the lanes are already so narrow you can barely keep two rows of traffic moving. Then suddenly the guy in front of you stops, hits his hazards (like that makes it okay)…and hops out of his car. You’re too close to him to be able to go around, and you can’t back up…so you’re stuck there until he comes back. It’s agitating beyond belief.

But today…in a moment of weakness, I stopped in front of the bank…hit my hazards…blocked two other vehicles in their parking spaces…and double parked. I’ve no doubt that car alarm had been waiting for just such a moment. I swear to you that when I got out of the truck, I hit the secret button. I know I did…

I went into the first little cubicle where the bank had it’s automatic teller and…it wouldn’t take my card. I tried a bunch of times, but it just wouldn’t. I can’t prove it, but I have my suspicions that the bank machine was in on it. He kept me just busy enough (without actually helping me) that when I walked out, in the clamour of downtown, I suddenly realized that car alarm was beeping his warning alarm that goes along with not hitting the secret button. It shouldn’t have, but it surprised me. I made for the truck, but when I was two feet away (nice timing for sure), the alarm activated.

I tried to turn it off, but like I said before…it turns off when it’s good and ready and not a moment before. So I left and went to another bank nearby and got my money. I came back and car alarm was still doing his thing. So I let myself in with my key (you can’t open the doors with the key tag while the alarm is going) and sat there while the alarm continued to shriek.

Let’s imagine this for a moment, shall we? I’m sitting in my truck…double parked…blocking a complete lane of busy traffic. As I sit in the front seat of my truck, my car alarm is blaring…every light in the truck is flashing and blinking. People are walking by and staring at me. Drivers are glaring and trying to pull out around me…

And there I sat. Looking like some kind of idiot. There was nothing I could do. Once again (even though I knew it was futile), I pushed every combination of the buttons I could think of. Nothing helped.

After about five minutes or so (which is an eternity when every person in a 300 foot circle is watching you and thinks you’re some kind of gringo Duffus…), car alarm finished his little tantrum and suddenly shut off. I have to say, I pulled out of there with smoke and the smell of burnt rubber.

When I arrived at my physiotherapist’s office, the cute receptionist was just about to call me to see where I was and if I was coming in today. I tried to explain…but she just sat there and stared at me blankly. I finally just shut up and went to my exam room…

Well played car alarm…well played. But it’s not over. Not by a long shot…