There’s a web page I enjoy a lot. It’s called “Despair, Inc.” and it remakes all those motivational posters (you know…pretty pictures and catchy sayings) into something that’s a lot more entertaining. One of my favourites is…

“It’s always darkest just before it goes pitch black.”

But the thing is, the sappiness of the original poster, “It’s always darkest…just before the sunrise.” (or something along those lines) is actually fairly accurate (my apologies if you have and/or like that poster!).  I’ve learned over the years that much of the time, when I’m going through a difficult time either personally or in ministry, it’s a precursor to something good that God is going to do.

This week was no different. As I said the other day, we’ve been going through a pretty rough patch at the house lately. It got to the point where I had to get out for a few days. I figured, hanging out on my own at a nice little hotel for a bit would do the trick.

Yes, well…I won’t deny that it wasn’t fun. It was. Having my room cleaned and my bed made for me every morning brings out the best in me, as I’m sure you can imagine.

But, I still ended up coming back to the same set of problems and issues. Among other things, the night after getting back, I found myself sitting up until 4:30 in the morning, wondering where one of the guys was. He just didn’t come back after his evening classes. As well, I’ve been feeling a lot of frustration and having more than a few “What am I doing here?” moments. I just don’t always feel as effective as I wish I could be. I watch our pastor (a young guy in his early thirties) or our other volunteers interact with the guys, and as happy as I am that they’re connecting well and building good relationships, there’s a part of me that feels frustrated. It’s so easy for them…you know, being that they speak Spanish and all. =) I can communicate fine, but it’s still not the same as talking to someone in your native tongue. More than a couple of times in the past few weeks I’ve asked the question, “Surely there are easier ministries out there somewhere…and preferably closer to a beach…”

But then in the midst of my despair and grumpiness (I prefer that word to the more accurate “whiney-ness”), as so often is the case, God chose to work. One of the guys came into my room this week and I asked him how things were going. Not so good, he said. So we talked and yea, his life right now is pretty rough…and not because of anything he’s doing. He’s actually trying to make good choices. And that makes it all the more difficult. In the end we prayed together, and he thanked God that he had someone in his life who he could talk with and who could give him good counsel.

The funny thing was, it seriously took me a moment to realize he was talking about me. =) But it was nice to hear that. This isn’t meant to be a let’s-pat-Ken-on-the-back-and-tell-him-how-nice-he-is post. It’s more about understanding how God chooses to work and use us. I come back to II Corinthians a lot, where Paul is talking about his thorn in the flesh. Basically, it’s the idea that God wants to use us in our weaknesses, maybe even more than in our strengths. When things are going well and life is smooth (and yea, there are those moments), it’s so easy to forget who’s actually the power behind what’s happening. When we’re at the end of the rope, so to speak, we’re suddenly forced back into a new understanding of “…His power is made perfect in my weakness…”

In the end, this has been a week of seeing God at work. The situations that I was worried about have all improved. The conversations I needed to have went well, and the guys responded in mature and positive ways. Although, by all means, please keep praying. We’re not free and clear yet.

And the kid that came home at 4:30 in the morning? Well…obviously it was a pretty bad decision on his part. When I got up the next morning and found him home, I dragged him out of bed after four hours of sleep, and put him to work. Our house and lawn have never been cleaner and better manicured (on the upside, these were some jobs that I’d been putting off for awhile…it’s nice to have them done now!). The roar of the lawnmower didn’t help the slight hangover I’m sure he had.

That night I sat down with him and we talked more calmly than we had in the morning (I’m not good in the mornings at the best of times…much less after four hours of sleep). I just talked openly and honestly about the direction his life was going. I had prayed hard all afternoon about that conversation…sometimes when people know they’re in the wrong, they’re not always willing to acknowledge that or receive correction in any kind of positive way. I was really unsure how he was going to respond. He hadn’t exactly been…uh, gracious?…during the day when he was working.

Not only did this guy talk about what had happened the night before, he suddenly opened up about a whole list of things that had been going on in his life in secret over the past year. I’ve always known there were things in his life that he was either not talking about or lying about. More than once I’ve told him that I was waiting for the day when he was honest about the choices he was making. That moment came last night. And trust me when I tell you, that was a huge step for this kid. This is a kid who spent over ten years of his life on the streets. He’s never been able to trust other people much, and for him to say, “This is what’s been going on…”? Well, it’s a big deal…

But, like I said to him last night…it’s the first step (and a huge one) of a lot of steps he needs to take. This is only the beginning. This young guy will definitely need a lot of prayer and support. So please pray for him, and for the other guys. For sure it feels like we’ve come out of an especially dark tunnel, and that’s encouraging. But there will be dark moments still to come, I’m sure. But we can be confident that God is faithful, and His Spirit is working, bringing healing and restoration. Thanks to all of you who’ve been praying this past week. I appreciate it! There’s no question that it’s making a difference for us down here.

Anyhow, thanks for taking the time to read this everyone!  Feel free to go back to scraping the ice off your car windows now…

Oh, and some other favourite posters…

“Hard work often pays off after time,
But laziness always pays off now.”

And finally….


“If you can’t learn to do something well,
Learn to enjoy doing it poorly.”