There are moments when I’m amazed and impressed by the guys I work with in the home. They can be some of the most generous, compassionate, entertaining guys you’d ever want to meet.

Then there are the moments when their…stupidity (for lack of a better word)…surprises and astounds me. This would be one of those moments. I’m not going to go into great detail (there’s no need to drag them all through the dirt) except to say that they pulled a stunt while I was in Canada that doesn’t impress me much. One of the guys felt guilty and confessed the other night. I don’t think he meant to confess for the entire group, but once he got going (and I started asking some pointed questions) he couldn’t really stop without lying to me…which would sort of negate the whole point of confessing in the first place. =)

So…after a long conversation yesterday, the guilty are grounded for a month. The also have to sit down and apologize to the volunteers who were helping at the house while I was gone (our two pastors, their wives and another lady who was volunteering) for their lack of respect and for breaking their trust.

I made it very clear to the guys how I feel about this. As much as I do love what God has called me to do down here, I’m not sure the guys understand sometimes, that it’s still a sacrifice to be here. It’s not easy giving up your family and friends and culture, to live some place foreign to you. I told them that if we’re going to start going down that road where I have to police them and constantly be handing out punishments and disciplines…we’re shutting down the place right now. That’s not the life I’ve chosen or expect to have to live with them. From the very beginning I was very clear with them that our house exists based on mutual respect and trust. They clearly understand what they’re receiving and what’s expected of them.

Now before I get a dozen e-mails telling me that I have unreasonable expectations, let me just say…I know they’re not perfect, and that they’re going to mess up. And yes…I’m fine with that. But what happened over the summer was a group decision to be disobedient and disrespectful to the people that are trying to help them. And that I’m not so cool with…

Here’s the funny thing that God’s teaching me through this, however…

Man, grace is a pain sometimes. Seriously. Those are maybe not His exact words to me, but that’s the general idea. I was pretty angry when I found out what happened. They guys definitely chose to disrespect me and the volunteers who were here giving of their time and effort…not to mention all the other people who believe in them and are trying to help them. Trust me…that’s frustrating…and I’m angry about it.

But way back when I first came down here, the thing that God impressed on my heart more than anything else, was that I was to be an example of unconditional love and unconditional grace. These guys have never really had that in their lives. So how do they understand God’s love and grace for them, if no one here has ever demonstrated that. Let me just say, however, that it’s pretty easy to show love and grace to someone when things are going well. When you’ve been sinned against and you’re angry…that’s a whole other story. I was pretty clear with them that I was angry and disappointed. What it meant…the choices they’d decided to make. Then we decided on a punishment…what the consequences would be for their actions. And then…then I had to forgive them and move on. I told them that as Sons of God, they were forgiven for what they’d done. And if God had forgiven them, how could I not do the same.

But the thing is…if you’ve chosen to forgive someone, you’ve also given up the right to stay angry about it and hold it over their heads. That’s tough to do. There’s a part of me that thinks I’m letting them off too easy if I just move on…if I don’t make sure that they know, every couple of hours or so, how badly they messed up.

It’s not like we’re pretending nothing happened. There are consequences to their actions…consequences they’re not thrilled with for sure. But if I’m trying to be an example of God’s grace and love…well, then I have to let it go. He does that for me every day…

One of the things the guys struggle with a lot here, is the feeling that God is always angry with them. I’m sure that’s because, in their lives, most people they know have been angry with them for their bad decisions. But how do you function in a relationship when you’re convinced that the other person (ie. God) is constantly angry with you?

So…we’re moving on. They know that they have a long road ahead of them to rebuild the trust that they’ve damaged. Maybe some of the guys think they got off easy and aren’t that concerned about what happened. I hope not. But in the end, that’s between them and God. Time will tell wether they’ve learned anything from this experience or not. I guess I have. Although…I’ll tell you right now, if it happens again, I’m getting a big stick and beating them all silly…

How’s that for grace? =)

Feel free to continue praying…