And in the category of things I didn’t expect to see today….the winner is…

…some random guy standing in the middle of the freeway flying a kite.

I’m not adding commentary…I’m just telling you. I’ve swerved around dogs, cats, cows, pigs, drunk people, the occasional guy on a bike. But never a guy flying a kite.

Carnival has come to Bolivia and it’s kind of messing up my life. Today David and I drove into town this morning for church, only to find that no one was there. Most Christians do abandon the city during Carnival, but no one said anything last week at church (at least that we heard). So it was a bit of a surprise. But we went for breakfast and that was fun.

It also means every person you see is armed with waterguns and water balloons. And I do mean everyone. Doesn’t matter if you’re 80 and can barely lift your arms, you’ve got a water gun and you’re ready to attack…

It’s really something to see. Eight million Bolivians armed and ready to take on all comers. Mostly it’s a lot of fun, except for the last day or so when the water balloons aren’t filled with water anymore….

Everyone walks around in these mumu/smock outfits to protect their clothes. They’re all brightly coloured with big pockets in the front for your watergun/water balloons/cans of spray foam. It’s kind of a pride thing to be with all your buddies wearing matching mumu’s. Again…no commentary…I’m just saying…

Anyhow, my only real grumpiness came yesterday when I got detoured off the main road into town. They were preparing for the big parade that night and had blocked off the road…but way sooner than I expected. Out at the sixth ring…which doesn’t really exist in any significant way. But that didn’t stop a caravan of trucks and busses and cars and me from trying. At some points the “road” was just a couple of tracks through the grass…

After winding our way through all of this for awhile, we came to an actual road and joined the traffic there. I ended up behind a bus that travels from my community in the countryside, into the city. So I figured he’d likely be going somewhere I wanted to go. Yes, yes, I get it…hindsight is always 20/20 as they say. But in the moment…it made sense to me.

When we left the pavement, I should have known that I was in trouble. But in my defense, that far out…there are lots of dirt roads that eventually end up being paved again.

When we left all buildings and were surrounded only by fields of sugar cane and palm trees, I really probably should have known that I was in trouble. But by that time, I’d been bouncing along on one of the bumpiest roads I’ve ever driven on (I actually hit my head on the ceiling of my truck a couple of times) and I didn’t want to turn back. I have this problem you see…I’m forever the optimist and keep thinking that somewhere soon I’ll pass the exact road I need that leads me directly back into the city exactly to where I want to go.

I knew the city was somewhere to my left and so when my bus driver buddy came to an intersection and turned right…I knew I was pretty much toast. Obviously he wasn’t going where I wanted to go…

So I turned left back towards civilization. I couldn’t actually see the city…or any buildings really…but I had faith. My faith faltered slightly when the road I was on (which was actually more of a river) widened into…well, an actual river. But what the heck…that’s why I bought a 4 wheel drive instead of a station wagon, right? I blundered ahead (I’m not sure if “blundered” is a word exactly, but it kind of describes the situation better than anything else I can come up with), and happily discovered that my road/river wasn’t actually that deep and my truck was once again proving it’s worth. My faith faltered again momentarily when I came around the corner and “road” part became a walking path on one side of the “river” which had washed out into a gully that even my truck wasn’t about to get past.

So…I did what every gringo with no brains does…I pushed on and hoped for the best.

I’m now driving at a 45 degree angle with two tires up on the bank along the edge of the road and in the bush…and two tires on the “road”. At this point I pass two young guys out for an afternoon walk. They gave me that look that I’ve become oh so familiar with. It’s kind of hard to describe…it’s a mix of surprise (eyes widening at first), with amusement (a smirk on their lips) and finally contempt (shaking of the head with a bit of a sneer). But that’s okay….I was taking up the whole road, so they had to hustle their contemptuous little butts out of my way or face being run over by a tired gringo without much patience or sense of humour.

I take pleasure from the little things…

Finally I got back to where there were scattered houses around and I saw a micro (bus). They usually go back to civilization at some point, so I just got in behind him and drove the same 30 km/h he was doing. Then glorious moment beyond all glorious moments…I came around a corner and there was a paved road. I didn’t really care where it went…I got on it anyhow. It was like driving on the autobahn.

I think I may have actually yelled “NOOOO!!” out loud a couple of minutes later when I passed a church I’d noticed when I’d been driving going the other direction an hour earlier. Yes, yes…I was back on the original road… And two minutes later I randomly turned onto a road that took me directly to exactly where I wanted to go. See…that road did exist. I just missed the turn…

There’s probably a sermon illustration or some kind of explanation of my life in that…but whatever.

At any rate…once again I survived to get lost another day.

Viva carnival…