Yep…I’ve moved…

www.kennethswitzer.com

Check it out!  Same old stuff…new location…

Today we’ll move on to more serious things than nearly dying in the shower….

I wasn’t sure what coming back to Bolivia was going to be like this time around. I went home to Canada a little burned out last April.  When it came time to head back south a week or so ago, I wasn’t sure if I felt completely ready or not. Some years it’s been a challenge to transition back into life here. There are always things I miss about both my “homes”, and in some ways that tension has just become a part of life. Leaving one place for another is always difficult.

To add to all of that, my run of goodbyes started early this year. Some of my friends were leaving Saskatoon for various reasons, and weren’t going to be around when I eventually left. So that added to the sadness…a week of ending conversations with good friends with, “Well…see you next year I guess…”.

At the airport I just said my goodbyes quickly and didn’t think too much about the fact that once again I was leaving. Of course my sisters were late and I had to go through security before they got there. But it was okay…we waved and yelled at each other past the way too serious security people. It was also good to have some travelling companions this year. Three young guys from Saskatoon made the trip back with me, to work with us for a couple of weeks. That actually helped quite a bit.

All that to say, this year’s transition has actually been smooth and fairly painless. That’s been a real answer to prayer. When you’ve been gone for three months, you end up having to jump back in to life here in a hurry. I commented to one of the guys that I’d forgotten how many “crisis’s” we can have in one day. Some of they guys are doing well…others not quite as good. But that’s a part of life here. You can’t have 10 people in a house and not have a little variety in where people are at. Overall though…things have improved greatly since last April. A lot of that has to do with Isabel (my girlfriend). She worked hard with the guys while I was gone, and it shows!

So here are a few pictures and comments to document my first week back in Bolivia…

Travelling with the boys in Chicago.  I take no responsibility for introducing Jordan
(the youngest on the right) to Starbucks.  That’s all Kyle (in the middle).
See that innocent look?

Being serenaded at midnight on the night before my birthday.  They wait until
you go to bed and then sing for you and bring cake.  It’s good.

Cutting the first of my three cakes.  It was actually kind of funny.  We
were trying to watch a movie and “some girl” kept calling the guys…I
was actually getting annoyed.  Then I found out later that the “some girl”
was actually my girlfriend who was sitting in a parked car around
the conner waiting for the movie to end…  =)

My actually birthday cake on my birthday…

It says, “Congratulations Cute Gringo”. 

My…um…girlfriend bought it…  =)

Handing out the soccer gear…

Andres and his jersey…

Jimmy and Ronelo…

New shoes…new jerseys…new shorts…new socks…

They were a happy crew.

Thanks for praying everyone. I’ll post some more specific prayer requests and stories here over the weekend. Well…probably Sunday. Saturday the guys and I are taking our young gringo friends to the waterfalls for a little swimming and cliff jumping!

And yes…all you Christian School people reading this should be jealous…  =)

PS Oh yea…I almost forgot. My latest words of wisdom from taxi drivers story.

I was following a taxi the other day and he had stencilled across his back window, “Only God knows my destiny!”

Okay…I wouldn’t put it quite like that, but I get the gist. I can work with you on that one…

But then above those words, he had a big sticker of Yoda.

Yoda? Really?
  

I had planned to open my first blog post after returning to Bolivia, with a comment on how ridiculously cold it’s been here. But then my near-death experience in the shower last night kind of pre-empted that story…

Later, after my harrowing experience, I changed my Facebook status to reflect my latest adventure, and there seemed to be some scepticism (Mike Bodnarchuk) as to how one could have fire and smoke mixed in with a normal showering experience.

My friend…I live in South America. We have here, what is affectionately called the “Widow Maker”. It’s an electric showerhead that heats the water as it passes through, so you can have a hot shower. I like hot showers enough that I face my fears of electrocution and deal with it. Truth be told, I’ve had very few major issues with those showerheads…at least once I learned not to reach upwards when washing my armpits.

Last nights adventure, however, was not with the showerhead. It was with the breaker box that sits in the wall next to the showerhead. This breaker box is supposed to be your friend. It’s supposed to shut off if it seems you are being electrocuted.

Last night it was not my friend.

I was happily enjoying my shower when all of a sudden from behind me I hear a hissing and spitting noise…a noise one doesn’t normally hear when one is in the shower. I turned around to see black smoke and flames (electrical flames) shooting four or five inches straight out into the shower. I should mention that the breaker box is not that far from where you stand when you’re in the shower. So it…um…made me tense…

Photographic proof of my “adventure”…

As I said on Facebook, I don’t think I’ve ever exited a shower quite so quickly. And for those of you who asked if I at least had a towel on? When one is running for ones life, one doesn’t think about silly things like towels. To make that situation even more unfortunate, the guys considerately washed my bedroom and the living room curtains while I was home in Canada. That was nice of them…the unfortunate part was that they mixed up the curtains and put mine downstairs and the living room ones up in my room. Well…that wasn’t really the unfortunate part…we’re coming to that. The thing is, the living room window is quite a bit smaller than my bedroom window, and as a result, the living room curtains fail miserably when it comes to complete window coverage in my bedroom. There are, shall we say, some significant gaps. That wasn’t even all that unfortunate…until I came barrelling out of the bathroom sans clothing (ie. buck naked).

So once again the gringo entertains the neighbours…

I took Jimmy (our resident electrician) and showed him what had happened. His comment was that the wiring in the house is, as he put it, “delicate”. I have a few other words in mind, and delicate doesn’t even make my top ten.

So, yea…I guess I’m home.

PS Come back tomorrow and I’ll write a little more seriously about being back.  Things have been going well, and it’s been lots of fun having our three gringo buddies (three young guys from Saskatoon) living and working with us for a couple of weeks.  I also have some pictures of handing out the soccer gear (very fun).  I’d write more now, but I’m off to the mechanic to try and figure out why my brand new back tires have worn down so much in the past three months that the left one actually blew on Tuesday and left us high and dry for a bit. Not as much fun.

Oh yea, and if I have the chance, I’ll write about the near riot at the soccer game we went to Tuesday night that all of South America is talking about…   =)

One more side note…a guy just walked past the window of the restaraunt where I’m writing this carrying a stuffed four foot crocodile for sale.  I truly love living here…
  
  

I decided to celebrate the coming of summer to Saskatchewan…finally. I went to Canadian Tire today, and bought a little inner tubey thing to float down the river on. As you can see, it’s lime green with little circles on it. In hindsight, it was probably made for kids littler than me. But it was $4.

So along with two of my sisters and my cousin who’s visiting from Ontario, off we went. Of course, being the Grandpa that I am, I immediately fell asleep on the beach for a little nap. I woke up just in time to see the wind take the tube and send it skittering across the sand. I jumped up and went running across the beach to catch it.

Well…actually, I watched and waited to see if some random brush would stop it. When that failed, then I jumped up and went running after it. By the time I caught it, it was in the water and making a run for Saskatoon. I think it knew what was coming and was trying to escape.

After staking the tube to the sand with a stick, I continued my nap. After a hour or so, I decided it was time for my celebratory summer float down the river. I hiked farther up the river (mostly to avoid the lady who figured Saskatchewan beaches are bathing suit top optional…she made the beach a little awkward), then found a good launching point, and plopped my butt down in my inner tube.

Referring back to my first paragraph, I think it was at this point I actually understood that this tube was not made for big people. But like I said…I really liked the lime green. So I ignored that little voice in my head my parents taught me is important for my personal safety and well being, and I bought the silly thing.

Anyhow, my butt hit the tube…the tube bounced once…and tube and Ken flipped over backwards. All anyone watching would have seen was my legs and butt in the air, sticking out of the water as I back-flipped into the river. Fortunately, due to the aforementioned lady on the beach, no one was paying any attention to me. All I can say is, that crazy little tube should have had a warning on it.

Okay funny…no lie, I just checked, and there is, in fact, a warning…

“FLOTATION TOY WARNING: for use in shallow water and under competent supervision.”

It’s in twenty-four different languages, including Arabic, Chinese and what looks like Russian.

Competent supervision? What exactly does that mean? Whatever…there should still have been some kind of verbal warning at the counter when I bought the thing. Not all of us have the time or inclination to read large-print, clearly worded warnings! Besides, it’s that nice, friendly lime green colour, with all those happy, multi-coloured circles on it. It should have been bright red and covered with tears and little sad faces. And with those circles with slashes through them…over big butts…

I eventually got myself situated on it, but it was still kind of tippy. I figured out, though, that if I wedged my butt way down into the tube and held on down by my legs, I could stay on the thing. That worked quite well until I dragged backwards across a shallow spot and the butt of my bathing suit filled up with sand.

Third time was the charm, as they say. I managed to float happily down the river enjoying the beautiful sunshine and warm summer breeze. It was fully worth whatever pain and humiliation I may have suffered in my earlier acrobatic escapades. It was a good Saskatchewan summer moment…

Well…in a little over a week I’m back on my way south, and this blog will once again be filled with thought provoking, serious and introspective stories of my life as a missionary. Ha ha…that was so funny I almost couldn’t finish typing it. I do hope you keep coming back to the blog, though, and continue walking with me on this crazy adventure. One of the things I love most about this, is that I can write about life and post prayer requests, and I know that people are praying. That’s huge for me…

So thanks for taking the time to read and pray everyone!  I (we) appreciate it!

PS I wasn’t going to write about this, in case some of my guys are reading along. A couple of them are learning English. But I figure they’ve probably given up trying to read this by now. I’ve been wanting to get the guys set up with some soccer gear for awhile now. Soccer is (of course) huge in Bolivia, and most of the guys don’t have anything to play with. Starting out, my plan was just to get them shoes if I could find some deals. In the end, I not only ended up buying shoes, I was able to get shorts, jerseys, socks and a Team Canada soccer ball. I ended up getting nearly $1900 worth of gear for less than $500. There were some great deals…all of the shoes were in the $70-$80 range, and I didn’t pay more than $30. Also, the store manager was great and definitely got caught up in the moment too. She kept finding us more stuff. And every time I asked her the price of something? $5.

Best deal? $80 soccer gloves. Price? $5…

So this all should make going back even more fun! =)

(A huge shout-out to the Soccer Centre on 2^nd Ave. Go there and buy lots of stuff and tell them thanks from the guys from Bolivia!)

The good news is, my passport is back in the hands of my lawyer and it should have my visa happily tucked away inside.  Isabel is picking it up tomorrow and FedEx-ing it to me Friday.  Obviously that makes me happy.  I am now a permanent resident of Bolivia and no longer have to apply for expensive visa’s every year or so.  And I should be able to wing my way back to South America in a couple of weeks with no problems (well…no more problems than normal anyhow…). 

Man…I’m down to less than two weeks…it’s crazy.  But I’m excited about heading back.  Like I said, I talked to the guys last Saturday, and it was fun to hear their voices. 

Thanks for praying everyone!  I appreciate it…
 

I know I keep promising to post here more, but as you can see…that hasn’t been happening so much.  But I’m back in Bolivia in two and a half weeks, so no doubt there will be more things to say then. 

I did want to ask you to pray about something though.  I’m having problems with my passport and visa (my permanent residency).  I had to FedEx my passport back down to Bolivia when I got home to Canada, so my lawyer could finish the process for my visa.  Unfortunately, there were complications and now it looks like I may lose my visa and have to start the process all over again.  At least he has my passport back (for awhile Immigration had siezed it and we weren’t sure I’d even get it back in time for my trip back south).  My lawyer has asked for an extension (or something) to finish the process, and Immigration is considering that request.

So please pray that the give me that extension.  Otherwise I have to start the process over again, and I’ll lose the $1000 US I already had to pay.  That would be grumpy to say the least.  I really don’t have that kind of money.

I spoke with the guys last night.  It was the first time in awhile.  It was good to hear their voices.  They tell me they’re excited that I’m coming back.  =)  It’s always hard to leave home, but I’m getting excited too.  I have three young guys from Saskatoon coming back with me as well, to work with us for a couple of weeks, so that’ll be fun too.

Anyhow, thanks for praying.  I’ll let you know what happens as soon as I know!

Enjoy the summer weather we’re FINALLY having…two weeks before I leave…
  

I spoke with Isabel tonight, and I wanted to post a quick note to ask you to pray for her and the guys when you have a moment.  One of the guys decided that it would be better if he moved out on his own, and so he left yesterday.  He, Isabel and the guys had a meeting, and he explained why.  As sad as I am to see him leave, for different reasons, I kind of think it’s for the best.  He left on good terms with all of us, and I’m sure we’ll continue to see him and hopefully be able to help out when he needs it. 

But this has been difficult for some of the guys.  Probably a few of them saw it coming, but it’s still sad.  Along with that situation, I get the sense, talking to Isabel, that the guys, the leadership and the ministry are all under some fairly intense spiritual attack.  These things always seem to cycle…things have been good for the past few months (and still are for some of the guys), but then the attacks come.     

So if you could pray for Isabel, Tonchy and those who are helping out, that would be great.  Please pray for wisdom, compassion, patience, and a sense of God’s presence.  As well, please pray for protection for everyone who is involved in the home, both for the leadership and for the guys themselves.

And finally, if you could pray for Jorge.  For those of you who’ve been following along, you’ll remember that Jorge was in a serious accident last January, and wasn’t expected to survive.  God healed him, and he’s been recovering well since he got out of the hospital.  However, recently there have been complications, and a surgery that was supposed to be routine has not gone well.  He’s home again, but I understand that the healing process has been much longer and more difficult than anyone anticipated.  I guess he’s been feeling pretty discouraged.

So please pray for Jorge and his wife, Viviana.  The problem is with Jorge’s inner ear (which was damaged when his head impacted the window during the accident).  Pray that they would trust in God’s faithfulness and timing, and that Jorge’s injuries would heal quickly. 

Thanks for praying everyone.  I’ll try to keep you informed of what’s happening as I find out.  I’m down to less than a month left in Canada, so my time is going quickly.  If you could pray that God continues to work in me as well, that I’ll be rested and ready to head back south, that would be great too! 
 

Feliz dia de Canada!  I know I haven’t been around here much lately, but that’ll eventually change once I’m back on Bolivian soil I’m sure.  But thanks to all you faithful ones who still come and check each day to see if I’ve written anything interesting or worthwhile.  =)  I appreciate it. 

I celebrated Canada Day with my sisters, brother-in-law and my nephew and niece.  We walked over to the park to watch the fireworks.  Other than the part where we had to try and navigate walking back in the dark with two little ones in tow, with thousands of other people…it was a lot of fun. 

A couple of pictures…

Getting tatooed…

Showing off said tatoo’s…

My good lookin’ niece and nephew!

What it means to be Canadian!

What it means to be a Switzer!

So that was Canada Day!  It was a good time.  But Canada Day usually is.  I was sadly asked by one of my American friends today what Canada Day was.  Uh…it’s kind of like July 4th…except better.  =)

Before I go, could I ask you to pray for the guys back in Santa Cruz?  I spoke with Isabel yesterday, and some of them are definitely have a rough go of it.  There are different things happening, but I can safely say that a couple of the guys are making some bad decisions that may mean they’ll be finished at the home when I get back in August.  I hope that doesn’t happen, but that seems to be the direction they’re moving in.  So please pray for wisdom, conviction and a sense of God’s presence and direction in their lives. 

Thanks everyone!  I’m coming up on my last month here in Canada.  That’s crazy!  But if you’d still like to grab that coffee or lunch, just let me know!  It’d be great to hang out!
 

Sit back, relax and enjoy a little trip down memory lane.  This is my “Ate a pig/Got caught in a riot” story from August of 2005…

It’s a little difficult to know where to start. Yesterday was my birthday, so we killed a pig. We chopped it up and cooked it in a big pot. The meal had a decided “Fear Factor” element to it. Fortunately I wasn’t really expected to eat the more…interesting parts, and the parts I did eat were really good. Then we had a Jet Li movie marathon (although I gave up after the first movie). For those of you who are unfamiliar with Jet…he makes fairly mediocre martial arts movies but is BELOVED in Bolivia and considered one of the great actors of our time. All in all, it was a fun day. Thanks to all who wrote and wished me a happy birthday!! I appreciated it.

Now onto the bigger story. Let me start by saying that I’m okay…and I was on the Bolivian national news. You know any story that starts out like that is going to be good!

I decided to take a quick trip up to Cochabamba for a couple of days to see Julie and the people I worked with last year, before the team from Saskatchewan arrived and I got busy. About an hour into the trip, my bus suddenly pulled to a stop and the driver shut the engine off (which I’ve learned is never a good thing). The young fellow beside me said, “Bloqueos!” (blockades). Bolivia has experienced some unrest lately, and blocking roads is a common way to make people pay attention to whatever woes you might have. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but surprisingly it was a somewhat sedate experience…at least at first. We just all stood around and waited and whatnot.

After about an hour, MY bus decided that they’d had enough, and they convinced the driver to drive closer to the front of the line (there are probably over 100 buses, cars and semi-trucks lined up now). Once we stopped everyone starts saying, “Come on men! Let’s go!” and all the guys get off the bus to go deal with this blockade. I’m thinking, “I’m a man! I’m not gonna just sit here with the women and children!” And so I got up and joined them. Although in hindsight….

So we walked about a mile or so across this big bridge, to where a very large tree has been cut down and was lying across the bridge. A couple of the trouble makers saw us coming and took off on their motorbikes, but our group (and now there are many more of us, as we managed to convince other buses to join in our crusade!) managed to grab four of the guys motorbikes, and drag them onto our side of the blockade and flattened their tires. Then we all gathered around the tree and started to lift it off the road…..and then we all jumped back because the tree was covered in thousands of little biting ants that enjoyed climbing all over us. We knocked off as many of the ants as we could and then made another attempt…and believe it or not, we eventually managed to toss this big tree off the road. The crowd was pretty empowered by this, which is, I think, what led to the next chain of events.

We all started walking down the road. I was thinking that we were just going to walk to a spot where we could get back onto the buses more easily, but we kept walking…and walking…and walking… By now there must be nearly 1000 people walking (there were crowds as far as I could see), with all the vehicles idling along behind us. I really didn’t know what was going on (which is not actually that unusual), and inside I’m thinking, “Okay seriously guys…are we walking to Cochabamba?!” After about an hour, I could see smoke on the road and I suddenly realized that, of course, there was another side of the blockade. The reason we were all walking was for effect…to try to intimidate the “bloqueo” people.

As we got closer, I could see burning tires and waving flags…and even more people. By now there were news cameras and everyone was kind of standing around to see what was going on. In my own defence, things seemed quite calm and peaceful. Our side sent an envoy of about a half dozen people to try and convince the bloqueo people to let us pass (made up of a couple well dress ladies and business type people). They came back angry because the demonstrators refused.  So they started expressing their frustration to the news cameras. At that point, I was standing about 30 ft. from the blockade (which isn’t that big of a deal, since people are allowed to cross it, just not vehicles).

The next part got a bit confusing. All of a sudden there was a roar from the crowd on the other side of the blockade (my guess is that some hothead on our side did something stupid). Our side started to run back the way we came and although I still wasn’t really sure what was going on… it seemed prudent to join them. Then the guy beside me turned to look back, and got cranked with a big rock right in his chest (I saw him later without his shirt on, and he had a huge bruise/welt). I was still fairly calm at this point (as a side note, I think I was born without that self preservation gene that everyone is supposed to have…the “Uh oh!” gene as it were), but I did figure it might be a good idea to get off the road. So I ran over beside a house and hid next to it along with some other people. The “front” went past us, and seriously it was like anything you’ve ever seen on the news…people yelling and running…the ground covered with bricks and rocks from people throwing them…

I had my first moment of fear at this point as I watched all the buses start trying to turn around. All the drivers were scrambled to try and get out of the area. I really didn’t want to get left behind without any of my stuff (in the midst of a war zone), so I started running after them. I saw a lady from my bus, so I stuck close to her. The problem was that we were now running in the midst of all the grumpy people who were throwing rocks and I wasn’t sure if they would recognize me as one of the “nice gringos”. I started trying to figure out in my head how to say, “I’m not from the United States! I’m Canadian!” in Spanish (my apologies to my American friends, but at this point many Bolivians aren’t that happy with Americans and it’s best to emphasize one’s Canadian-ness). Fortunately no one paid that much attention to me, and I suddenly saw my bus. It had pulled off the road into the ditch, so I quickly jumped on. It was crazy…people were crying…everyone was crouching on the floor and the curtains had all been pulled shut in case any rocks or bricks came our way. And it was about 100 degrees on the bus since all the windows were closed, so that didn’t help matters any.

But as is normal here, as fast as emotions went up…things started calming down. And as a great testament to the joys of capitalism…within 20 minutes or so, there was a little old lady selling fruit salad outside our bus. And trust me when I say it was the best fruit salad I’ve ever had!

I did eventually make it to Cochabamba. After a half an hour or so, everyone started abandoning our bus (it became obvious that it wasn’t going anywhere). The guy that had been sitting beside me said that he was going to head to the other side of the blockade and see if he could find a bus that was planning on turning around and going back up to Coch. So myself and a girl grabbed our stuff and joined him. Like I said earlier, it’s one of the strange things about blockades here. You can’t drive past them…but there’s no problem walking. No one even paid us the slightest attention. We ended up getting a taxi to the next town and another taxi from there. Eventually we got to a town where there was a scheduled bus to Cochabamba. It wasn’t a very nice bus…and I had to sit beside the biggest guy on the bus who kept taking over my side of the seat whenever he fell asleep…but I made it (at 3 AM…six hours late). Oh ya, and we had a flat tire at one point too.

So…that’s the story. For those of you who are praying for me….thanks! =) For those of you who are unduly worried for me, God’s brought me this far so….it’s all good. But by all means, continue praying!

This story happened about two weeks after arriving in Bolivia that very first time.  Crazy.  Still one of my favourite stories.  It wasn’t the last time I ate crazy pig parts or the last time I had adventures with public transportation… 

Come back soon and I’ll post another classic “Missionary Ken” story.  =)  Ah my life…
 

I got my hair cut yesterday.  It took 10 minutes (I don’t have that much hair left) and cost me $17.  That’s $102/hour.  And the truth is…I pretty much like my $1.50 hair cut from the lady in the market back in Bolivia better. 

Oh well…there’s not much I can do about it I guess.  It’s just a fact of life here.  Maybe it’s time to go back to getting mom to cut my hair.  I think she stopped when my brothers and I started getting too particular and…um…tense…when she didn’t cut it quite the way we wanted.  Now…I’m all about the price…not so much the quality.  And again…there’s not that much that can go wrong when you really don’t have much to work with. 

Speaking went fairly well in Asquith on Sunday, I think.  It was mostly just fun to see people and catch up a bit.  Asquith was the first church I ever youth pastored at.  Last week I had a BBQ with some of the kids who were in my youth group back then (and who now have a dozen or more kids between them all…).  We had a fun time reminiscing.  It’s probably best that most of those stories stay between them and me.  People from Asquith read this blog and they probably don’t want to know all the crazy things we did in and/or to the church.  After all…they still like me out there and it’d be nice to keep it that way.  Let’s just say I was young and leave it at that. 

We did have fun however…

Tonight I’m off to the Christian school for their Dinner Theatre.  I’m looking forward to it.  Again, it’s fun to see the kids and hang out.  As a side note, some of the kids who were down with us in Bolivia over Easter on this last trip, are talking about coming back with me in August for a month, to work with us some more.  I’m hoping it all works out…it’d be good to have them there.

I spoke with one of the guys from the house on Facebook, on Sunday afternoon.  He shared a bit about what’s happening in his life, and that he’d had to deal with some tempations at school the week before.  This young guy had a fairly serious drinking/drug problem in his past, and some of his friends at school were trying to get him to a party or something I think.  But he said he prayed about it, and God gave him the strength to say no.  =)  So that was good to hear.  We had a good conversation (well…as good as one can have on Facebook chat).  

Thanks for continuing to pray for myself and the guys.  We certainly need your prayers.  I’m officially approaching the halfway mark in my trip, and there are a few things that still need to happen in my life before I head back south.  So if you could please pray that I manage to accomplish what I need to do, that’d be great.  As another side note, some of you have been asking about my physio for my back.  I’ve started meeting with my physiotherapist and he’s excellent.  The owner of the physio place has taken a personal interest in my case and met with me on Saturday as well.  He said I did a pretty good number on my back in the accident, but thinks we should be able to have it fixed up before I head back to Bolivia in August.  So that was good to hear.  Everyone at this place has been amazing, so a big shout out to Bourassa and Associates.  They’re doing a good job.

I’ve still got lots of time for a coffee or a supper if anyone is interested!  =)  Just let me know…

Thanks everyone….